Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Wishes for a healing, peace-filled New Year

Came across this video this morning, and I found it reminded me of an Emily Dickenson poem. A line that refers to "the river in the trees". At about 1:15 you'll hear it! I wait for that all summer. I hope you enjoy the video!

EDIT: Sorry, I posted the 40 second version first, I forgot. After viewing this, roll over the choices below the screen and find "one year in 2 minutes". It really is worth the time.
Believe it or not, there ARE places here in Duuurty Jersey that look like this!
In the Somerset Hills and the north-western parts of the state, and to an extent, south of the Trenton area.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas Eve!

Christmas Eve has always been my favorite day, beating Christmas Day out by 31 lengths or more.

Christmas Eve I was free to roam about the house, and enjoy the tree, mom's company and our shared itchy fingers for "taking peeks" at intriguing presents that were under the tree.
My brother Jon stopped putting his gifts under until after midnight, spoil sport.

Christmas Day found me secluded in my room with my Animals of the Day, biding time until my nemesis left. Those were the days I'd just write for hours. The writing part I have to cultivate again.

Well, my cats know what I get them the moment the package get here from Petco. I'm lousy at keeping things from them. Aside from that, they crawl inside every box and parcel that crosses the threshold, confident it's for them, anyway. As usual, they're right.

We got more than we bargained for in the last shipment from Petco. It was the first time I got the order in three different shipments from different warehouses. After the last package was opened and Tem-Tay-Shuns were handed out, I'd left the box under the kitchen table to take out the next day.
A few hours later, I was confronted with a Roach. And it wasn't any Jersey Roach, neither!
That sucker was sub-tropical, sitting next to my sink, mocking me. I swear I haven't seen a roach that big since I was in Hawaii 20 years ago. It was like a dried date with legs and looooong antenna! I actually feared for my cats lives, so refrained from calling out "Come Kill The Bug!!" In all honesty, that Roach from Hell was bigger than Brutus' mouth. And that's saying a lot. How I dispatched the rodent-sized insect is now fuzzy in my memory, but I think running to the bathroom to flush it down the toilet whilst it's legs and antennae wiggled in the breeze was a large part of it.
Spawn of Satan.

Speaking of Spawns of Satan, I have a problem with a certain record company t/a Warner Reprise. They have allowed You Tube to post music videos for years, and it's been great getting the chance to revisit a video after the song has long gone on the oldies playlist and the video is no longer being played on the MTV's of the world. Well, Warner decided it needed control back (read: Greed, plain and simple) and are now pulling their videos of artists under their management from You Tube. That, my friends, includes Our Dearest My Chemical Romance.
Well young'uns with more energy than I have been archiving such vids, and some Sweet Soul decided to post this video on the ASPCA Community website. Works for me

Hope this works. It's the 2005 video to "Helena".

I'm going to try to post this puppy before I experience another crash...nasty business, that...

We hope your holidays afford you moments of peace and comfort.
We Love You.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Happy Holidays from Durrrty Jersey, '08

Gaslight Anthem - "Drive"

When last we met, it appeared I would be moving, cats in tow, to a "safer" part of town.
Never happened.

I'll delve into events of the past summer later, but for now, I have 2 videos. One features a New Jersey band having it's 20th Anniversary this year, The Bouncing Souls. The second video features Gaslight Anthem, a band from New Brunswick, NJ.
These two bands are scheduled to play together during a 3-night run under The Stone Pony~Asbury Park schedule, with a slight modification:


The Dec. 26-28 shows with the Bouncing Souls have been moved to the majestic Grand Arcade at Convention Hall. All tickets will be honored at the new location.

The Souls will be there all 3 nights, and Anthem will join them on December 28th, as will Gimme Drugs and Let Me Run. At $20.00 a ticket, it's awesomely affordable. Something to use that AmEx gift card on, neh??

Off-Topic Note: I have created a genesis for a new Royals Blog. Now, if only I can remember where I put the username and password...
Wishing you Healthy End Of Year Celebrations, and a deservedly Much Better NEW YEAR.
For All of US!!

The Bouncing Souls - "Gone" - Epitaph Records

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


The "Crisis" is over.

I am moving with the Royals on August 1st, 2008. Third Floor. Mama needs to buy 2 window perches so the Royals can see birds fly at their proper altitude. They may need NASA-Employee Extrodinaire ML to teach them Air Traffic Control patterns of Avians over Highland Park, New Jersey, as this will be a new one on them!

Also, thank you for your prayers, all appreciated, if only for my kittehs, who I care about more than is healthy. (just a note...my Amazing Veterinarian, Dr. Goldsmith offered to put the kitts up if "worse came to worse", and we'd work the details out later. Then he asked if Brutus was still coughing!)

I want to post another Butch Walker Video for you today.

He is my Guru. He has such life experience in his young years that I envy him. Please, take some time to visit You Tube, search for Butch's videos, and have a good time! (Do watch his "live" vids where he shares his substantial heart with his audience) Failing that, Google his lyrics. They will, WILL touch your hearts.
Later, friends...

The Marvelous Three - Butch Walker - "Freak of the Week"

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hey Everyone! Meet Amy!!! Amy's plight was
posted on Skeleton
Crew's MySpace...well,
best let Paula tell you
Amy's Story...

Skeleton Crew
Jul 13, 2008 9:27 PM
Body: Beautiful Pitbull Needs home she is may be killed in a day
"Amy" needs your help. She is in a high kill Shelter
From my friend Paula:"it's called "black dog syndrom". Many loving dogs in need of good homes are being overlooked and underappreciated and under adopted at shelters nationwide and they all share the one thing in common, their "black coats". Amy was brought to a high kill shelter in Brooklyn 6/30/2007. she is 2 years old and at 50 pounds she is a very healthy girl. As sweet as she is she has been overlooked by the public. It is true that black dogs and cats have a harder time at the shelter...so I am advocating for this beautiful little girl. She looks like she was in a home right before she got to the shelter due to her beautiful coat and weight. If you would like to rescue this dog please call Paula (917)325-4715. Amy is going to need plenty of exercise and would do best in a home without small children or cats. if you have dogs I can meet you at the shelter and do a meet and greet to see if they get along. This is an urgent request since the shelter gave me 24 hours to find her a home.
Now, among many reasons people encounter to be forced to give up their Fuzzes of all Makes and Models is - let's face it - "The Economy". Families' have either lost the ability to adequately feed themselves, let alone a pet, and so they give them up in hopes that SOMEONE will come along and see THEIR Beloved pet for the Beautiful Soul it is, among the close to 100 other Beloved Souls, and Take Their Pet Home.
The competition is very VERY stiff.
Besides the economic reason of another mouth to feed, there may be a darker reason - the family has been forced into Foreclosure, and they themselves have no where to live. Having been down the path of Homelessness, I can attest to the fact that the last thing any Social Agency Worker wants to hear from you is a plaintive cry "But What About My Pet?!" Frankly, they don't Give a Damn.
I'm posting Amy's and Paula's Story in a belief system I hold: The Six Degrees of Separation.
Yeah, it was a movie, but based on an old belief system. We are all connected to someone through 6 other people.
So, if you know of someone who may know of someone who perhaps has a large back yard, and maybe someone else can hold a Church/Temple fundraiser to feed Amy until Her Forever Family finds her - and I'm sure they will. Won't you please either contact Paula at the phone number she listed above, or at her e-mail pjjp07@verizon.net . Or, contact me at
emilyrose.myres@yahoo.com . I'm considering a PayPal Donation campaign for Amy's keep in the short-term, but quite literally her hours are numbered. Something along the lines of 24...and counting...
Please, PLEASE HELP if you can!
Karma's a Good Thing! It will repay you over and over again!
Blessings y'all...

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Much Ado in a Hot Jersey July

Hello Friends!
I know, long time, no post.
Well, anyone wanna share about their copy of
The Black Parade is Dead
- Sp.Edition, or otherwise?
I recieved my Special Edition on Saturday.
I've Got Frankie's Mask!!!
I actually haven't watched the DVD yet.
you may say.
and so do I.
By way of explanation:
I'm moving on August 1st,
and aside from the usual packing, throwing or giving away stuff, etc
I have a
Really. Bitchy. Landlady.
to deal with.
See, I'm trying to get out of my lease, because this WAY cuter, safer apartment became available. Hitch is: I'm on a Housing Voucher from the state of NJ. By virtue of that status, I am allowed to switch vouchers before the end of any lease.
I am meeting resistance from the State Workers, who generally
and are just waiting for their State Pensions.
So, it's call after call. Voice mails not returned.
They can't claim phone tag, I gave them my cell number.
But!! Extra Work?!!
as a reward...I am planning a
for myself...
as a sort of an
Apartment Warming Partay.
Sometime after August first.
like My Chem's next tour.
RSVP via comment, e-mail or
Homing Pigeon...
No, nix the pigeon...Have Kittehs.

That. Are. Not. Vegan.
(oh, a random question: do you think Frank and Jamia feed their Woofies Veggie Kibble???)Actually!
I'm excited for y'all to read this cool link I found that's about MCR's concert at New York's Madison Square Garden May 9th.
Your Sister in Ferardness Was Present.
~~le sigh~~
Can I has Iconz???!!!!
I'll luv ya until infiniti
{{makes kissifaces}}
eeeewwww #2
Anyway, enough with the threats of kissies...
There's a cute little MSG-CAM vid where they went to speak to random people as they let the house in. I was walking behind the girl who has the "Hi Five for Ray Toro" Sign.
I was in line a few people behind her before they opened the gates.
Yeah of course I "hi-5'd" her!
She was cute. Loads of sugar and caffiene, I'm guessing.
(I think I tried to duck out of the frame, as if there was an arrest warrant out for me...never know, bein' from Jersey n' all)
Cutest little "Cameo Appearance" of some two boy's mom at the end
{Interesting, how the kids who approached her didn't recognize Handsome Don who, it so happens, is also The Sweetest Man On.This.Planet.}
Must be the DNA...
Well, my Sweet Peas, I shall wrap this up and
Enjoy the link!!!!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Butch Walker - Don't Move

Butch Walker / Mixtape

...Ain't ALL Necessarily Jersey Fresh, but...

Diva Brutus
Ever Secure of his Manhood.

I wanted to post a few videos here, while I'm at it. Mostly because I can.
First off, a review.

My Chemical Romance ended their last tour on May 9th, at Madison Square Garden.

I wish I could say it was spectacular, but Gerard Way gave me the impression he just wanted to get the hell out of there and start his "indefinite hiatus".
(Please, don't get me wrong! I wouldn't kick that pretty little ass of his out of bed for any amount of money!)
The rest of the guys; Ray Toro, Frank Iero (Jersey-to-the-BONE ~.and Tattoos ~ yeah, he has a few; including the initials "NJ" tattooed inside his lower lip, among other parts of his anatomy), Mikey Way, who was living out a dream and kicking ass, and drummer Bob Bryar seemed to feel the intensity of a REALLY good house for NYC. I mean, there was something like 18,000+ fans there, although I suspected the house was "papered" a bit at the last moment. ("Papered" means that comp tickets became available a few hours before the start of the show and handed out to friends of friends, etc. It's better for the whole of the audience if the house is full. It's done all the time.) It was a really good house, and they were extremely warm and receptive. That's saying a lot. I mean, NYC audiences are notorious for being finicky, and can turn on a performer/sports team in - well -"A New York Minute". The chatter on the way out was quite positive, and they all seemed glad they came.

An inquest into the death-by-Suicide of a 13-year-old British girl was released to the UK Press on May 7th, I believe, and the coroner implicated, (among other bands, American, of course), that My Chem represented a "Death Emo Cult" who encouraged their fans to commit self harm in the way of cutting and suicide. This isn't the first accusation of the kind by the British Press towards MCR, but it did attract a fair bit of attention. At the end of the MSG concert, I heard Gerard Way say "If this is the last My Chemical Romance concert we ever do, Keep Yourselves Alive!" I believe he said it twice. The poor young British girl had a history of cutting, and only heard MCR's CD "Welcome to The Black Parade" for the first time 2 weeks before her death.
Stigma against Mental Illness, the fear of "the neighbors finding out" and maybe a residual British tradition of holding a "stiff upper lip" keeps parents from actually paying attention to their kids. How they are treated in school, on the UK version of Facebook, called Bebo, etc.
Families here in the USA harbor the

that is so mindless and causes needless suffering for kids and young adults.
Okay, I'll climb off my soapbox now.
But please bear in mind, if you, or someone you know seems "out of sorts"...not eating, sleeping too much or not at all, losing interest in all things that once gave them pleasure, please look into the CHANCE you or that person may be depressed. DON'T DISMISS any talk, even said in a "Gallows Humor-ish" way, that this person may be considering harming themselves. I went through a relapse of my depression in March, when my mentor and friend of 30 years, Suzanne, passed away. But there was a difference. I had resources: mainly a fantastic friend by the name of David Hughes. He gave me numbers to call, kept keeping tabs on me daily until my e-mails and text messages to him sounded more positive and up-beat.
He's always been there since my suicide attempt in 2002. And, knowing him, he will be there for me no matter what.
SLIGHTLY off topic - My Puppy Davey is ENGAGED!! Plans are forming for a Valentine's Day, 2009 Wedding. Jo is really a Good, sweet, highly intelligent woman. She has the
"Brutus Seal of Approval"
This is quite the honour, you know, and deserving of only the highest-caliber
of Bi-Peds.

My Porky is Blessed.

He knows it.


I am Blessed. I really am.

Alright, My Precious Ones
(hey, not a bad band name, eh? DON'T STEAL!!!)
On To The Videos!

First, while not straying too far from My Chemical Romance, they are set to release a DVD of a live show of "The Black Parade" that was filmed in Mexico City in October, 2007. Also included in the 2 hour DVD is a Cancer Benefit performance they did in the much smaller, NEW JERSEY venue called Maxwell's, in Hoboken.

The release date is July 1st, 2008.

It can be pre-ordered at http://www.theblackparadeisdead.com/ for a discount on a special edition version.

The first video at the top of this post, because I screwed up ROYALLY
(heh~heh...inside joke there, somewhere...)
is a sneak peek of what's on the DVD. Watch for the scroll below each video you watch, to see others.
You Tube is nice that way.

The two videos below MCR are of a native of Atlanta, Ga. who is Seven Shades of Awesome.

Butch Walker.
He's heading out on tour, and will be playing in New York City at
Webster Hall, 125 E. 11th Street, in the Greenwich Village area of New York City on August 12, 2008.
The NEW JERSEY date is scheduled for August 14th, at The Stone Pony, 913 Ocean Avenue, Asbury Park, NJ 17712
(yup, hometown and old stomping grounds of the Boss, Bruce Springsteen)
You can check out Butch's MySpace page for details of other concerts, starting on the West Coast and moving around the USA.
While you're visiting Butch's Myspace page, check out his blog...he's hilarious!
Well, guess that's it for now. Hope you enjoy the music videos!
Have a Happy Daddy's Day, to whomever it's appropriate!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

BIRTHDAY VIDEOS (you'll have to suck it up - I'm a proud Mutha******)

Yes! We Have A Vidfest!! Cute Kittehs, how can you resist? (ya can? Then get the helloutahea!)

Happy B'Day, Mine Kittehs

Just a side trip today to wish my 3 kittehs, Emily, Brutus and Marigold a Happy Birthday.
Today is their "official" BD's, since their real dates of birth are known only to The Higher Power.
They're all rescues, you see. Emily is the sole "Jersey Fresh" kitteh, found in a dumpster in Dunellen, NJ with 2 brothers one February day. A woman named Rosemarie bottle-fed Emily and ber bros, and she's been with me now 4 years old.

My 2 orange kittehs, the XXL Brutus and the Petite-Punk Marigold are native Texans. They were rescued along with their Momma Grace, and 2 brothers Ruse and Audace 2 years ago. The Houston ASPCA were going to euthanize the kits, but there came along a lady named Deb who would have none of that, Thank You. She paid their ransom, and took Grace and her 3 day old kits home with her. They were nurtured well.

Brutus will Live and Die a Texan, by golly. Marigold has become accustomed to the Jersey Fresh scene...I mean, come on! "The Misfits"-gods of all things punk-grunge, are from Lodi!

I shall post a few pics-try to make a "Then" and "Now" kind of comparison for you.
Thanks for checking in.
Oh, btw, "The Misfits" have a gig at Starland Ballroom this month.
Check the website for times, prices, all that stuff...

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Some Jersey Fresh Chem on the Road...

My Chemical Romance began their tour in Arizona on Friday. According to reviews, one being in http://www.azcentral.com/ with a few Gee Pix free of makeup, the reviewer was as impressed with their set as he was in a "secret" 200 patron gig he was at in England.

Found a link to a video somehow on the 23 of March that appeared on a blog I THINK is called
Don't worry you're still a victim in this game on a Windows Live site. If I can sort out the actual link, I'll post it to give credit to the video I hope will make it's appearance below:

Think I'll leave it at that.

The remainder of the tour still have venues which haven't sold out yet.
I've listed them as they appear on My Chemical Romance's website.
Which, btw, annoys the hell out of me as it seems to exist solely to sell Merch.
Their My Space isn't much better.
A petition for better Mods are in order, here...IMHO...
03/30/2008 - Las Vegas, Nevada, The Joint
03/31/2008 - Las Vegas, Nevada, The Joint
04/02/2008 - San Jose , California, San Jose Civic Center
04/03/2008 - San Francisco, California, Warfield
04/04/2008 - San Francisco, California, Warfield
04/06/2008 - Irvine, California, Bamboozle Left @ Verizon Amphitheatre
04/08/2008 - Portland, Oregon, Crystal Ballroom
04/09/2008 - Portland, Oregon, Crystal Ballroom
04/11/2008 - Magna, Utah, The Great Salt Air Theatre
04/12/2008 - Mexico City, Zero Fest
04/14/2008 - Denver, Colorado, The Fillmore Auditorium
04/15/2008 - Kansas City, Kansas, Memorial Hall
04/17/2008 - Chicago , Illinois, Congress Theatre
04/18/2008 - Chicago, Ilinois, Congress Theatre
04/19/2008 - Detroit , Michigan, The Fillmore @ State Theatre
04/20/2008 - Detroit, Michigan, The Fillmore @ State Theatre
04/22/2008 - Cleveland, Ohio, The Agora Theatre
04/25/2008 - Baton Rouge, Louisiana, X-Fest @ Baton Rouge River Center
04/26/2008 - Woodlands, Texas, Buzzfest@Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
04/27/2008 - Frisco, Texas, Edgefest@Pizza Hut Park
04/28/2008 - Austin, Texas, Stubbs Amphitheatre
04/30/2008 - Birmingham, Alabama, Sloss Furnace
05/02/2008 - Memphis, Tennessee, Beale St. Festival
05/03/2008 - St. Louis, Missouri, The Pagaent
05/04/2008 - Columbus, Ohio, Lifestyle Communities Pavillion
05/06/2008 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Electric Factory
05/07/2008 - Philadelphia, Pennslyvania, Electric Factory
05/09/2008 - New York, New York, Madison Square Garden *date/time subject to change*

Now, I might gripe and bitch about the "commercialism" that now hovers over MCR, but did that deter me from getting tickets in Philly for the 7th of May, AND MSG on the 9th of May?
Ohhhh. Noooooo...especially MSG. Thanks to a You Tube Video with MCR being interviewed on Australia Day, in answer to quite an entertaining interviewer's question regarding Liza Minelli, Gerard Way commented that "If they ever played 'The Garden', since Liza is based in NYC, she might join them on stage. I wouldn't miss this for a lifetime of Starbuck's Sulawesi Beans.

Oh, just a comment about the S//K icon I used in the last post. It is a trademark of sorts for MCR's rhythm guitarist, Frank Iero's company, Skeleten Crew. Sorry I didn't make that clear.
If you live near one of the venues that, as of this typing, still have tix to offer, go for it.
And Have Fun!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Are ya Bored?

While I attempt to dig out from My Present Personal Hell, I am giving you some playtime to occupy your Own Personal Hell.
If you have a problem with someone, you know how to "Spread the Venom" (hint:copy/paste/e-mail).

Bored? ((Over 100 questions))

[*] Part 1 -- The Basics [*]

What's your name?
Birthplace New Brunswick, NJ
Age Unlisted
Age you act 26
Current location
New Jersey
Eye color brown
Hair color brown
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? righty
Zodiac sign? Scorpio
Height? 5'3"

[*] Part 2 -- Describe [*]
Your heritage/nationality Italian/Hungarian/German
Your hair shapeless
Your fears failure & regret
Your perfect room "my" room in Chris Gorell-Barne's home in Kent
What you practically do in a day nothing

[*] Part 3 -- What is/are... [*]
Words you overuse Oh, god
Phrases you overuse hating life right now
Your first thought when you wake up ahh, shit, another day?
Your greatest accomplishment there isn't any
Something you want to do die in England

[*] Part 4 -- This or that [*]
Pepsi or Coke Coke (cherry, done up at a soda fountain)
McDonald's or Burger Kings McDonald's ( ex: veggie burgs fm "The King")
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera Brittany
Chocolate or vanilla no contest-both
Adidas or Nike Nike
Black or white " I want it painted BLACK"
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) Bills
Burgers or hot dogs burgers
Egypt or France France
Rock or rap I WANNA ROCK!

[*] Part 5 -- Do you...[*]
Smoke Never
Cuss always, I'm from Jersey, it's tradition
Sing well yes
Sing in the shower no
Talk to yourself always, (the only conversation I have)
Believe in yourself Noooooooo!
Like taking these longass surveys? kills time...
Play an instrument yup
Want to go to college? yup
Want to get married? I think I missed that particular boat...
Want to have children? ditto
Think you're a health freak? when I can afford the $$$ to be
Get along with your parents yeah, they're Dead!
Get along with your siblings? Hell, No! ( not even the Dead One )
Think you're popular fuck, no
[*] Part 6 -- In the past month have you [*]
Gone out of state no
Drank alcohol no
Smoke no
Get high yes
Done any drugs Rx, lots...
Eaten an entire box of Oreos? in my dreams - can't get those at a food bank...
Been on stage no
Gone skinny dipping shit, no
Been dumped yup
Dyed your hair no
Stolen anything no

[*] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [*]
Craziest Wesley
Loudest (vacant)
Most shy (vacant)
Blondest ??????
Smartest David
Kindest Danielle
Best personality a four way tie
Most talented Wesley (was a DJ, awesome)
Best singer dunno
Most ghetto yo, Wes is my boy!
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) I've been away from the Theatre too long...
Pain in the ass pass...
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style)) no one
Funniest Louche Tabby
Best person for advice David
Dependable David
Druggie none
Most likely to end up in jail no one
Person you've known the longest David

[*] Part 8 -- The Last... [*]
Last dream Suzanne calling me (my friend who died 3/5/08)
Last nightmare
recently, I woke up screaming...
Car ride today, before the police impounded it
Last time you cried see above for your first clue...
Last movie seen The Sixth Sense
Last movie rented The Queen
Last book read No Reservations by Anthony Bourdain
Last word said FUCK!
Last curse word said above with "Mother" as a prefix
Last time you laugh I honestly can't remember-last Thanksgiving?
Last phone call called Maria to pick me up from the E.R.
Last CD played American Idiot - Green Day
Last song you listened to Running from the Rain - Thursday
Last annoyance the police taking me to the e.r. for suicidal ideation, and being sent to wait in "chairs"-I left...no one noticed...
Last IM a month ago
Last weird encounter today
Last person you hugged hasn't been anyone in a while
Last person you yelled at my reflection in the bathroom mirror
Last time you wore a skirt I always wear skirts
Last time you've been evil I'm always evil - ask Deb (death threats, the lot...)
Sarcastic? "Acid Tongue" is my nickname
Last time you fought with your parents/significant other N/A
Last time you wished upon a star a month ago, I guess
Played Truth or Dare never played
Spent quality time alone I'm alone all the time, there's no quality to it, tho

[*] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [*]
Are you talking to someone on AIM/AOL/Messenger? no
Do you feel lonely yes and no
Ever TP'd someone's house no- TP's too effin expensive
How about egging someone's house missed that joy in life, too
Do you not like dislike not like me? sorry, didn't get that one?
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? nope
Yo Momma _______ what about her, smartass???
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? Yes
What do you think of George Bush? Who? That Redneck from Texas?!
Any secret fetishes? yup
Do you like to wear chains? O_o: velvet ones
How many languages do you speak? 1 1/2
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! used to it...
Glad this is over? yeah

Saturday, March 08, 2008

"She looks so natural. It's like she is just sleeping"

What a stinking lie. That has to be in the Guinness Book of world Records for the Dumbest Thing to come out of anyone's mouth. Ever.

I went to my friend and Mentor's funeral viewing today. I could not stay for the actual services, because from the time I caught glimpse of Suzanne, I lost it. I went up and knelt next to her, trying to remember a prayer, like a good Catholic School Survivor should be able to do. But all I did was began weeping, openly. And did not stop, for the 80-odd minutes I managed to stay secluded in the back row. The Funeral Home where the wake was held has an excellent reputation, but quite frankly, if Suzanne was hovering about, she'd have been appalled. Yes, she died of Cancer, and it is a brutal, emaciating disease. But all I could see of Suzanne was the Mortician's wax, seemingly applied with a putty knife. They left her eyes sunken in, and really, quite frankly, she looked like what she was - a corpse. A ghastly, white, dead body. Not the woman I remember going to tea shops with on a Saturday afternoon, and spending Thanksgiving Day with, just the two of us.
I noted, before I left that I was the only one crying. Maybe once the Priest arrived and the actual service started it was different, but I couldn't chance staying that long.

A lot of very bad feelings are surfacing for me, and I'm frightened of them. I'm lucky, no, Blessed to have my FuzzBabies.
I felt I could somehow keep myself relatively safe. I thought back in January I would get a low-paying job in no time. Two weeks ago I signed up for my 8th agency, and the young woman was compassionate. I nearly begged her for anything. She made a comment that in her nearly 7 years of working as a Staffing agent, she'd never seen it this slow. She said that in the previous 2 weeks, the agency had only 3 orders. Now my car is broke, I'm snowed under and I see no way out.

Except for the Kittehs, I'd be where I was in October, 2002.

Excuse me while I go wake one up for some kitty therapy.

Thursday, March 06, 2008


Last night at 6:16 pm, I had a call from a former student of my Voice and Piano Teacher, Suzanne Ferris Hammer, telling me she had passed away from Uterine Cancer after a 2 and a half year struggle. She passed at 2:38 p.m. that afternoon, March 5th. I was told where the services will be and will be further informed of the arrangements as they are finalized.

I had known Suzanne since early piano and later, voice lessons. That was 30 years. When while I was in college, she told me one day with a smile, "Well, Rosie, I've taught you all I know..." I didn't want to stop seeing her every week. I didn't have to. We went out every Saturday, before my Dark Ages set in. We had cappuccino and brioche, spent hours in bookstores and in New Hope, Pa. She took me into Manhattan many times, showed me her "old neighborhood" on the Upper West Side. Taught me how to sing English Art Songs, Madrigals and Mozart arias. I was in a few of the plays she directed, even. As much as I hated acting, I'd do anything for her. She was my surrogate mother, my best friend, my sister. Our birthdays were 3 days apart, and she always picked up a Horoscope book for me when she got her own. She was into metaphysics and crystals back in the '50's, before it was "cool". The one piano piece I'll always associate with her is Shumann's "Scenes from Childhood". She loved Yorkshire Terriers, and at the time of her death owned 4 of them. I'm sure she made provisions for them.

Her husband, Emmanuel, ("Manny" to everyone else) passed in 1984. They had no children. So she "adopted" a few of her favourite students. I was blessed to be one of them.

As for my previous posting, I have no confirmation of my nemesis' demise. I don't expect one. Suzanne filled the void my so-called "dysfunctional" family left.
I don't, well, DIDN'T need anyone else.

So, just a note about the kittehs. I have plenty of food for them, at the expense of my own pantry, but no matter. THEY are my family now.

I intend to keep writing, only on another site. I've made friends there. It's a creative writing site, and very cathartic.

I hope whoever comes across this, even in bitter curiosity, has peace in their lives, as I mean no one malice, and never did.

Goodbye from the Royals.
The Queen Mother is Dead.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Something from Nothing

Just a short nonsense sort of post today. Can't find the picture of Emily I was going to post with it, which is probably for the best.

I ran into an old childhood friend yesterday, who expressed sympathy to me about my brother "Butch". I knew what he was about to say, that he had died. I asked Frankie when he heard, and he said "oh, 2005, maybe 2006." Frankie is an African American, and it's not in their culture to be alienated from family members, so he seemed shocked when I told him I hadn't spoken to either of my brothers since my father died in 1995.

I'm not sorry to hear he's gone. Something told me after a 2 and-a-half-pack a day habit of Marlboro Reds and never using sunscreen on repeated exposure to the Jersey Shore sun, some sort of Cancer would be after him.

I have many reasons not to feel grief about this, but one reason to feel anger. I was never told he died. Regardless that we were mortal enemies since my birth, when he was sixteen years old,
I thought I might have recieved a death notice in the mail, at least.

I called my brother Jon's "domestic partner", Bernard and left a message for him at work. I told the young woman who answered the phone if he would please confirm that one of my brothers had died. Poor thing, she sounded flustered.

Bernard never called.

Apart from Butch's success in screwing me out of a third of my father's estate, and the trauma he relentlessly inflicted on me while growing up, I have to find a way to let the hatred go now.

I've been saving something for my own memorial service, if there ever will be one. There is a song by Green Day called (ironically) "Good Riddance (Time of your Life)" In deference to my parents, who I'm jealous as H&%# that HE got to see again before I did, I'm going to quote a passage of it here. It's as close to a prayer as I can come.

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where you go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
Billy Joe Armstrong

Thursday, February 21, 2008

...Swan Song...Down Curtain...Up House Lights....

Anybody Out There?

Even Blogger thought I was Dead.

It told me I didn't have an account, and would I like to open one?

Thought that was kind of Blogger.

Well, just thought I'd post a few photos of The Kittehs, who are healthy, happy, and are well-fed. Well, happiness is relative. Take Emo-Marigold, who insisted I post the 2 'black' photos to the left...She said they reminded her of me...I have to agree with her...

BRUTUS is HUGE. And quite strong. I don't think
he knows that the post lying on the floor doesn't
want to play with him anymore.

So, Emo Marigold likes to pass time on the
'Lektric Blankie'.

She allows her (somewhat) older brother to join her sometimes.
As illustrated in top photo...

...I don't think those are the moments I have an anti-depressant go missing...

She just found out yesterday that My Chemical Romance is coming
to Philadelphia May 2nd, and that tickets go on sale this Saturday.
She HATES me at the moment. I explained to her there's no $$$ for
tickets, so she goes about pouting all day.
HOWEVER, it has not put her off her Tem-Tay-Shuns. Nope.
It takes a certain amount of energy to be Emo if you're going to do it PROPERLY...hence the razor, rosary and black rose in my honor.

I think she'd like to see those etched into my headstone...

y'know, so would I...

We'll catch ya later. Knowing me, it may be in the Afterlife.


(Sorry this post is such a mess...but then, so is it's author...)