Monday, October 17, 2011

~~ One Paw Forward, Three Paws Back? ~~

I thought I would let all know how Beau is adapting to his new life in New Jersey.
I need to confide in you - I am worried.
Friday marked the 2nd week of his journey North,
and he has not ventured forth from his hiding corner except for his basic needs.
He eats his kibble, but has forsaken what was his beloved Gerber Baby Food treat.
I insist he receive only spring or filtered water, and have to hope he is getting it.

Because of her multiple disabilities, and being over the level where she qualifies for Home Health Aide assistance, Barbara finds herself in an untidy environment.
Perfect for a Senior Gentlemancat who wishes to hide.

But I wish he would come out.
As of this writing, he has not allowed Barbara to pet him.
He ventures out to play only with the wand toys, just a little bit, and then retreats.
He still occasionally hisses at her.

My heart is breaking for him, so last Saturday, I insisted on seeing him.
I did not like the comments "Oh I can hear him back there" day in and day out.
I have orthopaedic issues with my right knee and back, old riding injuries.
(or should I say, "falling injuries"?)
If I had to move stacks of magazines chairs and a dinosaur of a computer Barb is keeping for sentimental reasons, I was prepared to do that.
It is behind the computer where Beau has sought sanctuary.
Upon seeing me, he hissed, ears slightly back.
Instead of trying to speak in a Very Bad Southern accent, I just began to speaking to him as I do to my kits.
Especially to my Big Red Texas Mancat.
He hissed twice more, but with ears perked and looking at me with a confused expression.
I have had animals non-stop since my early memories, and I can read body language of not just cats, but dogs, horses, heck, even chickens and roosters!
So, I had Beau interested in me!
I underestimated the obstacles between me and Beau, so instead of trying to clear the way, which may have prompted him to seek shelter elsewhere, I reached behind me for a fev-ver wand toy.
I began to tease Our Gentleman Beau, accusing him of  being  "all Hiss and no Action"!
In a position I hope to one day study comfortably in a Yoga class, I played with Beau while stretched to my current brink.  As a parting test, I put the toy down, and reached in to touch him, but he was far from my grasp, rubbish be damned.
But he didn't hiss!

While Barbara loves him, mostly sight unseen, and she does provide for him as best she can,
I have a fear this Adoption is not "taking".
Barbara's desire to keep Beau is not in my opinion the best thing for him.
The toys so kindly sent to him remain untouched, even lost among items Barbara can not pick up.

I have enlisted the help of Our Property Manager, who is a truly lovely woman, and cares for Barbara's physical as well as emotional well-being.
At this point in time, I am nearly certain I need to take Beau away from her, but due to past emotional issues, this will be difficult without causing great emotional pain.
Carol, our Property Manager
in conjunction with Barbara's Clinician need to convince Barbara it is for Beau's good he come to live with me, "for the time being".

I need to ask in earnest for all your prayers and purrayers to ease this further transition for Our Gentleman Beau and  for the safety that will let Barbara release Beau into my care.
Until we receive further word from Beau's Aunt Teresa.

I would also appreciate a prayer or two as well, because while I wrestle with this issue and pray for a quick resolution for Beau's Final Forever Home,
Brutus has been coughing more frequently and longer each time.

I take my culpability on fully, and if I had questioned Barbara in depth, perhaps I could have avoided this issue.
But I know only what Barbara was willing to share.

We need a speedy resolution, I would so love this to happen this week.
But in God's time, not mine.

Again, please pray for the best outcome for Beau, and for healing and if needed, acceptance on Mom Barbara's part.

I have had contingency plans all along in the event Beau needs to come in with Us.
He will have full access to my bedroom, while the Royals make his acquaintance through the door.
He will be well.
Gentleman Beau is a Survivor.
I recognize that in him.

With your prayers and God's hand,
and Beau's Angel Mom, Cathy looking on, we will assure Beau a Happily Ever After.

Thank You.
It seems Beau has been leaving, uhhh, what The Royals know as
"Ca Ca Poo Poo" -
This is the first I've heard about it.
There IS a medium Lab Mix that lives in the apartment across from her.
I had told Barbara to find an old towel to put under the door, so the doggie smell doesn't come in.
She is unable to do that.
I made the suggestion that Beau is obviously nervous and not happy.
Why not allow him to live with Us until he's settled in, and gradually get him to know her again.
She has agreed!
Gentleman Beau may well be living with Us by Weeks' End!


Fuzzy Tales said...

Poor Beau. He's understandably confused and upset and probably still grieving, in his cat way, for Cathy.

We're sending purrs and purrayers that all will work out for his Highest Good and the Highest Good of all concerned.

GTnCo said...

oh this is such a tough situation you are in. I think you're doing the best for Beau which is the most important thing. Stay strong, it will work out!

ML said...

I have, from the start, hoped that Beau could make a home with The Royals.
Part of the condition of Beau living "next door" to QM Rose was that she had access to him.
None of us really knew the extent of Barbara's condition until after Beau took up residence.
If there is anything I can do, or the CB as a whole can do, we are behind you 110%.
Love & Purrs,
Mom ML & Kitties

Hannah and Lucy said...

Poor Beau - losing his home and family then relocating miles away after a long journey. I know Barbara does her best but we have to ask is her best good enough for Beau with all his disruptions. I am not being unkind about Barbara but it sounds as though she is too infirm (physically) to care for him and to stimulate him with toys.
I have no answer for you but I think he will need to have a home where his needs will be catered for and he can settle down.
Luv Hannah and Lucy's mum Sue xx

Random Felines said...

Don't blame yourself....sometimes we do the best we can and it doesn't work out. But, as much as we worry about Barbara, you have to worry about Beau....and it sounds like he is not happy. We hope that you can find a resolution that is good for everyone....and we know how hard this is. purrs.....

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Very sad. We were hoping Beau was transitioning into a new home with lots of attention. Sometimes humans just aren't physically capable of caring for an animal, even if they want to. Poor Beau - and Barbara.


Poor, sweet Beau. He must be so scared and confused. We hope you can get him settled into YOUR home and that he will be happy again.

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

ArtemisiaFSS said...

We think he may be confused and upset and feel like accepting Barbara would be disloyal to Cathy.

We seem to recall that Barbara is going into the hospital soon, perhaps it could be suggested that Beau should move in with you, so he can be cared for while she is away.

We are so sorry the adoption isn't working out.

Junior and Orion said...

Oh what a sweet boy! He is doing his best and we know you are too. We are encouraged by his reaction to your short visit. Meowm says she will send a donation in the next couple of weeks. We will be purring.

Our word verification is "bless". Hopefully a good sign!

Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

No disrespect for Barbara, but with all Beau has been through I think it would be best if you could take him for now, where he will get more interaction which hopefully will bring him out of his shell. I am hoping and praying that things can be worked out without too much stress and pain ...
Jan, Momma to Sam, Sabrina and Simon

Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

And Junior and Orion, we hope your word verification of "bless" is a good sign too ...

Rose and the Royals said...

"bless" could not be a better word verification, ever!

Especially since QM wasn't aware the feature was even on!

With Beau coming to stay with us, he can be seen without fuss when Brutus is seen by Dr. Steinberg!

Now, to get Gentleman Beau's veterinary records faxed to Dr. Steinberg - he deserves the very best, and We Vow, he will be given all the love and then some that he needs or craves!

3 kats and a kwiltr said...

We are sending extra strong purrs to Beau and to all of the rest that are involved. Mommy thinks Barbara's intentions and heart are good but she was expecting a easy transfer and it hasn't been that. We think you are correct in getting Beau and trying to ease his fright and anxiety.
We'll send green papers to help, when we can.
Taz, Runt and Charles in Illinois

The Meezers or Billy said...

our hearts are breaking yet again for poor Beau. We knew this would be a very very hard transition, and we also knew that his mom Cathy was very worried about all of this happening. We had talked to Mom Cathy about Beau coming to live with us if there was ever a need, but all agreed that it was way to far for him to travel. we are confident that Beau can learn to adjust with you QM, we know that you are a very loving soul and will eventually be able to get to Beau and help him to be happy again.

Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

So glad to read your update, QM Rose, and my prayers definitely are still coming!!!
Momma Jan

The Island Cats said...

Poor Beau! He has been through so much lately. We are purring for him and all of you and we pray that there will be a good solution. And remember, we are here for help and support.

Marg said...

Oh Rose, I am so sorry that you and Beau are having all these troubles. I hadn't read this before I wrote the email to you. I certainly am sending lots and lots of prayers for you and Beau both. All the kitties here are sending their strongest purrs they can do. We pray like crazy that it works our for both you and Beau.
We are sending lots of prayers to Brutus too. Take care.

Gracie =^o.o^= said...

This just break my heart to know that Beau isn't where he should be at this point in time. He has been through so much but know with you watching over him and guiding him to a better home it will be better for him in the long run.
I have been sending purrs all along for Beau and will continue to do so. Please keep us posted.

meowmeowmans said...

Poor Beau. It must so confusing and scary for him, and we are sending our most earnest purrs and prayers that things will work out the best for him, Barbara, and for all of you.

Sweet Purrfections said...

Poor Beau. I know Barbara must mean well, but it appears she isn't able to take care of him. My prayers are with you are you bring Beau into your home.

Mom Paula

Rose and the Royals said...

With careful consideration for Barbara's feelings and emotional state, I do believe she has "solved" the situation for Beau. While I doubt she will ever think of Beau as NOT being HER CAT, she does know he will be safe and loved with us. I left open the possibility of re-introducing Beau to her home, but hopefully and prayerfully she will finally receive a home aide who will be able to keep things tidy for Barbara - and also, keep her On Her Strict Diet!
In the mean time (I suggested it could "take months") Momma Barb will be making visits, and gradually we will see if perhaps Beau might be inclined to be a "time-share" cat. It is my feeling that Beau may visit with Momma Barb, but his safe home will be with Us.
I am so relieved!
Now to wait for help to move the "collection" Beau is using as his barricade! I think I'll need to tease him about another thing: "Uh, Gentleman Beau - We Yanks Won!"

Laura and Jet Dragon said...

Poor Beau. He is, no doubt, grieving for his mom, Cathy, and may be for a while. Add that to being in a new, strange place with unknown people; he is understandably confused. Taking him in to your home, Rose, does sound like the best solution for him. Thank you.

Laura and Taffy

Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

We thank you for keeping an eye on things and for stepping into the situation.
We are confident that knowing cats as you do, you will be able to make a slow, successful transfer to your home and to him sharing his space with other cats.
Please tell dear precious sweet Beau that we love him so,that he must eat and all will be well.

Old Kitty said...

Me and me my cat Charlie came over from the CB. We are sorry to hear that sweet Beau is all scared and upset. We agree with the rest of the commenters that Beau is probably most confused and is grieving still for his mum. He may take a very long while to re-adjust and maybe needs to just work things out in his head so he'd feel confident in his new surroundings. He perhaps needs to feel safe and comfortable - to not be afraid, to feel that he his home, to be able to trust again all in his own time. We send everyone - everyone!! - all our purrs and prayers for a happy compromise for all of you in Beau's interest. Take care

ABBY said...

WE are so glad to know that the situation has a modification for dear sweet confused Beau. We know he is afraid and missing his dear Cathy. We hope her spirit will help guide the coming days and get him all settled in with the Royals.

Mr. Hendrix said...

We are sending the most positive of positive thoughts to you, Beau and even Barbara. We know she didn't mean for this to happen.

We just know that things will work out for all of you. Beau will settle in and be happier with you all purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

Laila and Minchie said...

We are so thankful you are doing what is best for sweet Beau. We are all very supportive of what you are doing and want to help in any way we can. Beau's needs come first after all he has been through. You are such a sweet person for helping him. (((HUGS)))

The Lee County Clowder said...

Purrrrrsss for Beau and Barbara both. We hope that in time, Beau and Barbara will at least be able to visit together a little.

Cory said...

Our purrs and prayers are with Beau and whatever is best for him. Thank you for working with Barbara to get him to be with the Royals. He needs you and it sounds like Barbara has her own medical issues to take care of. A kitty is a lot of work...especially one that is going through emotional trauma. Purrs to all of you.

Oui Oui said...

We are very sorry to hear all this, we wondered why we hadn't had any updates. No kitty should have to live behind a computer. It seems strange that in 2 weeks he would not allow her to touch him, or that he would still be hissing. Maybe something is scaring him. We hope you can find his presents too, they were sent with love and best wishes. Poor Beau, we have found the kitties we have been the most reluctant to adopt are the ones we loved the most.

Rose and the Royals said...

For all those who sent lovely gifts to Beau, be assured I will retrieve them and they will come with Beau when we bring him to stay in Our flat.
I will be writing each of you a note as soon as possible, 2 weeks is way too long, and I apologise for that.
Thank you all for your encouraging words and prayers.
Beau will have a comfortable place, among his Angel Mom Cathy's things to come to terms with this part of his life.
I promise he will come to no harm whatsoever, so help me God.

Forty Paws said...

Oh my goodness! Yes, it would be best for Beau to come live with you. And then perhaps we can find him another home? We are sending purrs and purrayers and many hugs to you and Beau and Barbara to make it through this.

Luf, Us and Maw

Pasha said...

I feel terrible for the situation, but I'm glad Barbara has agreed to let beau go. I would suggest to bring him to your home as soon as possible. The psychological damage on poor kitty will only get worse with longer delays. Another suggestion would be to use comfort zone feliway spray to help beau relax in his transitions.
Wish you best of luck.

ML said...

Yes, we are all sending purrs and prayers that Beau gets to live with the Royals as soon as possible.
It will work out, it is already in progress.

ZOOLATRY said...

We hope, trust and pray that Beau will adjust to living with, and being loved by, all the Royals. It does seem like the purrfect answer for the current problem... though even when coming into your care, he will need time.
Our experiences, though limited, have often shown it can be a matter of months, rather than weeks for adjustment to a new home. And little Beau has been through an awful lot of changes recently ... continue to give him time and space, we believe all will be well for all of you!

Tillie and Georgia said...

Dear little Beau. WE are sending him purrs and we hope he will relax a bit when he is in your home.
Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
Tiger,Treasure and JJ

Karen said...

I am sad and scared for beau. I hope for a speedy transition with little to no hisses. I hope he finds happiness soon. we know yours know his scent maybe you should start bringing stuff with there scent over so that he will know them too and maybe make it easier.

The Crew said...

Oh my, poor Beau. He's been through so much. We[re sending purrs for everything to work out best for him.

Mo said...

Thank you for looking after Beau. Sending love and prayers to you and him, and we hope that you can find a safe Forever Home for our friend.

Max said...

I'm glad Beau will be coming to stay with you...and I'm gonna go out on a maybe unpopular limb and say it should be permanent. He needs a safe environment and a whole lot of time--months if not a year--and someone who can actually care for him. He's been through enough...I'm just danged glad you're there to make sure someone's got his back...

Grrreta said...

We're so sorry Beau has not adjusted to his new home with Barbara, but we are very grateful that you are there for Beau to make sure he is happy and well cared for. We are very happy beau can stay with you and get the attention he needs. Thank you!

MoMo said...

Poor Beau! Hope things work out for everyone involved. You are all in our purrs and prayers.

Karen Jo said...

Poor Beau! He must be so sad and confused. I am very glad that he will be coming to live with you. I am sure that Barbara meant well, but she is just not able to care for him.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you, Rose, and the kitties, too, of course. Thanks so much again for your call yesterday. I KNOW you're doing the right thing, and we will continue to work together on this. With much love, purrs, and prayers, Aunt T.

Pumpkin said...

I'm sorry to hear that Beau is having such a hard time adjusting to his noo home. It's scarry when things change. Lots of purrs are sent his way frum Hah-why-eee.

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

We're glad to hear that Beau is with you now, and that he came out from hiding. We think it's easier for a kitty to adjust in a house that already has kitty smells, even if those kitties are strangers. We're sure he knows your place is a safe & happy kitty home, and your reading to him would certainly be calming too. Purrrrrrrs to all of you!

Big Piney Woods Cats said...

I have to agree with Max. Beau has been through enough. I see this happen all the time, at the shelter. Cats who are well ajusted and outgoing becoming afraid, even mean, when separated from who/what they know. Beau deserves the best, what you can give him.

The Lee County Clowder said...

By our count this is the fourth home for Beau in a couple months. We are really purrrrrrrring this is the end of the 'musical homes' for him, at least for a while.

Sending purrrrayers to Mom Barbara. Purrrrrrring that she starts feeling better soon.


The Island Cats said...

Hi Rose! I am mailing you today a feliway diffuser and one refill bottle. The diffuser has been used (by me!) but it still should be good. I hope this helps Gentleman Beau in adjusting to his new home.

Island Cats' mom

Anonymous said...

This is Beau's 3rd home. We intentionally kept him at Cathy's to give him comfort and consistency as long as possible & would love him & care for him there. Thankfully, Beau's time w/ Barbara was short-lived, & and I know Rose will try to do everything she can to make Beau feel right at home. E.g, Winnie the Pooh and singing. What a great heart!!! Hopefully, his sad memories will fade quicker now that he's there!

caspersmom said...

Don't know if you will be reading this so far down the ladder of posts. I know how hard you are trying to work all this out for Beau and I think it's great that you are trying so hard. But Beau is still grieving. Give him time. He doesn't know what's happening without Cathy around. And just maybe all the fussing is confusing him also. I am glad to hear that Barbara will wait.

When I first brought Patches in the house after being an outdoor cat she hid and I just let her hide. I didn't do anything until she made the first move. She would come out of her hiding place and look around the corner, and run back to her hidout. We didn't do anything until she was ready to come out and join us in the den. After awhile she got used to being indoors and later she became a loving cat

caspersmom said...

Oh Yes, purrs and prayers for you and may God help you with getting him settled down.